positives so far

     We're nearly 4.5 weeks in, though it seems both much shorter and much longer than that, so I thought I'd take a few minutes to catalog some of the things that have gone well so far. One of the things that my therapist emphasized was the importance of focusing on both sides. You must acknowledge the times that you mess up and the things you need to change, but you also need to celebrate your successes and appreciate your strengths.

1. My Spanish 1s did running dictation for the first time on Thursday. There was the normal amount of whining, but their spelling was on point and their cooperation (aside from the whining) was really high. I still have to check their papers for accuracy in terms of putting the story in order, but since I could hear their discussions while they worked, I think that most only have minor mistakes. I used a slightly adapted version of the story from "¿Puedo ir al baño?" and the students had to look up very little vocabulary. I'm also closer than ever to nailing down how many extensions are necessary so that the work takes up nearly all of the class time without becoming totally boring, while also getting in those useful reps with the high frequency language.
2. My Spanish 2s voted on our next book. I gave them a few options that included a short summary, the cultural focus, and my opinion of the difficulty level. To make things a little more fair, they chose whether they would be interested, might be interested, or definitely wouldn't be interested for each instead of putting them on a scale. Almost no one chose the easiest novel and it actually had more votes against it than the hardest two listed. Since their biggest complaint is often "But it's in Spanish!" I'm really proud that they actually took the time collectively to choose something that might be interesting instead of going with the easy way out. We'll do reading individually until after fall break, then dive in. They also voted almost unanimously to focus solely on the novel while we read, which surprised me, but I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't willing to allow their choice to stand.
3. Going back to my Spanish 1s, I'm frequently asked to just translate words for them, especially cognates for some reason, and I rarely do. Instead, I talk them through it. What does it look like? What does it sound like? Is there another word that contains a part of this word? I've wondered for years now if I sounded too sarcastic when I said these things, as I have a hard time with tone, but I wanted them to build the ability to think it through without me, by hearing me say it over and over. One of my students told me a few days ago that they like that I do this, that it does help them, that they're starting to see the connections themselves and they mostly want me to confirm it for them.

But I didn't mean you!

But I didn't mean you.

I didn't mean it like that.

I don't see color.

Those people just shouldn't have kids.

You just haven't done enough research.

You speak English really well for someone like you.

You're just too sensitive.

Racism isn't really a problem.

Sexism doesn't exist.

     There are just so many of these. I could literally dedicate a blog to just things like this. Now, don't mistake my meaning. Some of these do have an appropriate time and place. If you're colorblind, it's absolutely appropriate to say you don't see color. If you made a mistake in wording, it's fine to say that you didn't mean it like that, and explain what you meant. But I don't hear it in those contexts most of the time.

     This post is inspired in part by a conversation I had online with a friend. She stated that if you don't physically show up to protests, you no longer have the right to call yourself a true ally. (I may be screwing up the wording a bit but that was the idea.) I pointed out that this was unfair to many of us who were incapable for various, entirely valid reasons, and that we shouldn't have to justify ourselves to all and sundry. So she changed her wording. She didn't argue with me. She didn't say "I didn't mean it like that, so it's okay" or "I didn't mean you." Hell, I highly doubt she did mean to exclude others. (If you ever read this, I apologize for the assumption, and I hope you understand why I made it.) I was extremely surprised that it was that easy. She's a great person and I have no expectations that she would actively discriminate against marginalized groups, and I still didn't expect it to be that easy. It made me realize just how often I hear these types of things, from people I otherwise like and respect. It made me realize how often people tell me that I'm being oversensitive, that I'm a snowflake, that millenials just don't understand how the world works and therefore my opinion of something that directly affects me and/or those I love is invalid.

     During the election, I was in a group which I will not name, as most of the members don't deserve to be called out for something that an admin did. The admin posted a video of Clinton after she fainted, claiming that she had a seizure and this made her unfit for the presidency. That all people with epilepsy are unfit for serious positions. That all people with epilepsy are mentally defective and incapable of real responsibilities. But it's okay, y'all, because she didn't mean me. I was just oversensitive. I didn't understand how the world works. I left the group, which I otherwise loved, because dehumanizing everyone with my condition wasn't something I could overlook, because it's not okay.

     It's not okay.

     It's not okay and it's something we owe to our students, to ourselves, and to the world at large to work on.

     We all have our prejudices. To deny it is to deny yourself the opportunity to grow. Working through what you've been taught, thinking twice about what you say and post, accepting criticism from marginalized groups; these are opportunities to grow. So when someone tells you that what you're saying is racist, that your essential oils actually can trigger migraines and seizures no matter what your rep tells you, that what you're saying actually is a harmful slur even if you were reared that it was an acceptable thing to say, listen. Don't try to explain the conditions that they deal with every day to them. Don't tell kids that their culture and their skin have no effect on their opportunities and how they'll be treated by other people. Don't tell people that being open about their existence as bi, or gay, or trans is forcing an agenda on others. Stop, and listen, and think.

beginning a new year

     Two posts in one day! This is not the first day of the new year, but rather the thirteenth. It's the first day I'm home sick, because my body has some kind of rule that I must get sick enough to actually go to the doctor (which for me is can't eat for multiple days, semi-delirious, or inhaler isn't helping sick) at the beginning of the year, and at least once per semester. I should be grateful, I suppose, since one year it was HFM disease. Last semester, I broke and sprained my ankle less than a month into the semester. While I haven't met my goal of posting regularly in 2018, I have met my goal of making it a second year without a concussion so far, which is probably more important. But I'm getting off track here.
     This year, like last year, I'm teaching four blocks. I'm more prepared this year too and I have a better system in place, as well as more training and experience. The two worst parts so far are the same problems I had last year and I still don't have a solution for either. One, the tree-killing is rampant. We aren't a 1:1 school and there's only so much I can do over the projector. Two, there's no down time. If I need to make an appointment, I will miss two classes, at a minimum, which means throwing my classes off, which means more preps for me. Unlike last year, I am, for the moment, the only in person Spanish teacher. That has its own unique difficulties, but it also means that until I have a coworker again, I can direct where my classes will go without input from anything except our state standards and research, instead of trying to accommodate an out-dated textbook. Admin has never been repressive but they'd prefer a unified department, which I totally understand. It's relaxing in many ways, but also a bit terrifying.
     For my Spanish 2s, we started off with a free write and then El Escape Cubano. If you haven't read it you can find it on Mira Canion's website or the numerous booksellers. The free writes were... disheartening. I don't have a better word. I'm glad I started with a baseline from now instead of a baseline from last semester, but it still sucks to realize that the students who could write basic, coherent phrases without assistance last semester now can't string together related words. There was a three month gap between Spanish 1 and Spanish 2, and it definitely shows. I'm hoping that since they started out with the knowledge, picking it up a second time won't be as bad. They recognize it in context almost as well; it's primarily their productive skills that have suffered. We just finished the book yesterday and I'm still looking out where to go from here. We have so many options and so little time!
     I have three Spanish 1 classes as well. I haven't been brave enough to try persona especial with them yet (very hyper and very large classes) but each class has done its first storyasking session and they all did pretty well. We still need to work on staying in-bounds and the amount of murder that they always want to include (what is it with these kids and death, every single semester?) but overall, they stuck together rather well. I'm trying to take things a little slower this year and circle more with the same vocabulary while adding in novel materials instead, which is hard for me, but good for them. They're starting unit 3 of SOMOS without me while I'm sick and tomorrow, we'll play with that vocabulary and go from there.
     All four of my classes got to do Señor Wooly as well now that the new website is up. My Spanish 2s had almost all used the website before, and they're primarily a fan of the changes. It took a bit to get them to understand that they could earn more coins than they needed, in every class. I'm missing something since so many of them didn't get it, but I really don't get why that's a difficult concept. My Spanish 2s were very excited that they no longer had to do every single activity within a nugget to move on and that the website is so much easier to navigate. My Spanish 1s used Señor Wooly for the first time and it drove them insane that I only unlocked one song for their initial use, but aside from that, everything went well. It took them a bit to work out what some of the activities wanted them to do, but there were no major issues. The average number of nuggets completed for all students and the median were much closer than they usually are, so I think once I adjust the proficiency level of a few students, or just let them work on additional songs, everyone will be doing the same amount of work at a level that's appropriate for them. I really don't think it's fair to have my faster processors and native speakers doing extra work, so this is good for us.
     I've also been designing work for the other four Spanish 1 classes, which currently do not have a Spanish teacher. That has been going less well, but hopefully will be at an end soon. I'm crossing my fingers that the last person interviewed will be hired and actually show up. He seems like a chill dude, he speaks Spanish well, and he actually knows who Krashen is! He's not already a CI teacher but 1) he's breathing, and at this point that's really the most important thing, though to be quite honest I'm not opposed to a well-spoken corpse or salamander as a coworker and 2) he's at least not opposed to CI and doesn't think grammar is the be-all, end-all of the universe, which is refreshing.

     This year will be the year that Tennessee chooses new textbooks for world languages too, and I'm curious as to which ones will make the cut. I can't speak to anything that's not public knowledge (and I honestly don't know which ones will definitely be approved) but some of the big names have already withdrawn their bids or didn't put one in at all. The new standards are much more logical and actually usable. The landscape for world language education in Tennessee is changing. It just remains to be seen whether it will be a real change or simply a superficial one. If you're in Tennessee, check out the new standards and the textbook samples. You can find links to the samples here. You can use the form there to provide your feedback too. Happy new (school) year!

reflections on the 2017-2018 school year

     One of my goals for 2018 was to post like every other week on this blog to keep a written record of my journey. I may have missed that goal by a bit. However, while it's not yet a new calendar year, it is a new school year here, and I want to take a few minutes to reflect.

     Last year was my third year teaching. It was better, and it was worse, than the previous years, but more than anything the experience is valuable. 

     1) I learned that as much as I dislike the way cardtalk is described, as well as persona especial, when done right, it's borderline magical. I also learned that I'm not that person without a huge amount of direct effort, and it's not always worth it. Don't get confused, nonexistent readers- comprehensible input for my students is 100% worth it and learning about my students is 100% worth it. But at the end of the day, I'm an introvert. No amount of time as a language teacher has made me less of an introvert. If anything, I want to spend less time with people now than I did before. I don't dislike people, generally, but being around people, all day, every day, is draining. If my students don't buy into persona especial, I'm not going to waste my limited spoons trying to make it work. That doesn't make it a less valuable tool for someone else, for a different group of students (I'm actually trying persona especial again this year) just that digging in for the sake of not failing? It's pointless.

     2) Teaching four blocks is much less stressful than I expected. I agreed while honestly wondering if I would lose what little sanity I had left. I can't say that I haven't, but it wasn't the issue that I thought it would be. In all reality, the biggest issues are the amount of paperwork that comes from having so many students, and the pain in the ass that is scheduling necessary appointments for me and my demon offspring when I can't plan around an off block. I had 4th block planning the first year I taught and it was fabulous. I definitely didn't appreciate it enough.

     3) Going to the training in person is worth it, even for people like me who generally learn better from reading.

     4) Being a year older does not prevent people from being condescending about my age, experience, and/or education. 

     5) Annabelle is right and life is too short to not dress like myself. Also despite my fears, my students don't perceive me as less professional; if anything they perceive me as more confident and thus, more of an authority. Related: petticoats are great for looks and the prevention of flashing, but make sitting down interesting.

     6) Life is also too short to try to match the expectations of others when I know they're wrong. More on this to come.

running dictation

     Last year, I tried running dictation with my classes. For those unfamiliar, running dictation involves one person finding sentences in Spanish, one person writing down what the first person dictates them, and then the students organize the story correctly. The first time, I tried without having the students leave the room because I didn't want them to disturb other classes. It did not go well. Rather than going back and forth, the students simply yelled from the other side of the room. Having them all together defeated much of the point of the exercise.
     This time, I decided to try with just my Spanish 1. I had other plans for my other three classes because I didn't expect it to go well. I also had more plans for my Spanish 1 today, because I thought that running dictation would only take them fifteen to twenty minutes like it had last year. I was wrong. I was very wrong. I let my students into the hall and had the different sentences taped to the lockers. I used thirteen sentences this time in an attempt to get a full twenty minutes out of the exercise. It took them the entire class period. They did complain (because of course they did) but they were all engaged, working together, and off their cell phones! There were some off topic discussions, but they were in the midst of working, not instead of working, so that's not a problem for me. It went so well with Spanish 1 that I tried it with two of my Spanish 2 classes and it went much the same with them. Total engagement. This also gave me a chance I don't normally have to check in with my students who need a bit more personal attention during the back and forth. I'd totally recommend it if you have the space. I warned the closest class that my students were in the hallway and there was some talk as they went back and forth, but no complaints from the nearby teacher.
     I also recently tested out the Unfair Game with my Spanish 2s. Once again, way more fabulous than I expected! My students complained the entire time, but when I asked if that meant they didn't want to play again, they looked at me like I was crazy and asked me when we can play again. It's always nice to have something that's teenager approved. In this case, I got this version of it from TPT and I'll certainly be buying more of them.

Catching Up

     I have fallen behind on posting here, along with everything else. I got strep, went to the doctor to start antibiotics, and then literally the following day tripped and fractured my ankle. Three weeks later, I'm now in a boot and supposed to take it easy- meaning stay off of the foot. I always thought I was lazy (and I am) but I did not realize how much time I spend on my feet in a day until I was ordered to keep off of them!
     Persona Especial has hit a bit of a snag. A big part of what I was doing was going to the kids directly and giving them personal attention, which seemed to help them answer honestly instead of pulling them up in front of the class. Now, I can't do that, so I'm trying to find an alternate way to deal with that as well as other classroom management issues. I've been a lurker this entire time. There's probably a less creepy name for it, but that's mine. I circulate the room, I check in with the people who need help but won't come up to me for it, I stick phones in paper bags and make sure no one has their neighbor's paper, I poke sleeping students to see if they need a nurse or redirection, etc. It's a big part of how I keep the class together, and I can't do that right now. I won't be able to for approximately another three weeks. I'm behind on my lessons, behind on my planning, behind on my housework... Behind on pretty much everything.
     I won a free trial of a course from Fluency Matters during ACTFL and one of my classes got to try that. I'll keep an eye on it for the future to see if things improve, but my students weren't fans and neither was I. The content was interesting enough and high frequency, but navigating the site itself was a pain. Multiple students (and me!) had our accounts locked out as an abusive IP for no reason I can figure out. I'd be down for a print copy of A Conversar.
     Not everything has been bad, though. This week is Wooly Week and today we rewatched the Victor trilogy together. I won't give away any details, but Feo was both unexpected and pretty awesome. I paid for a month of Adios Textbook and it's way better than I thought it would be. I have to play around a bit to adapt the timing for my students and our lack of technology occasionally creates issues, but it's well worth $15 a month in my opinion.

after new attempt #1

     Well, I finally went through with it. Today we worked through talking about the students themselves, slooooooowly, with little to no prep beforehand. Meaning that I had a short list of questions- name, age, origin, and activity- but no set vocabulary list. No set unit or theme beyond discussing activities and related vocabulary that were related to the students' actual interests. It was our second day back and for my only Spanish 1 class this semester, the second day of Spanish ever, so we started with a super simple story from the fabulous Martina Bex before moving into group discussion. Especially for my 1s, I wanted them to hear and see Spanish in a nonthreatening, silly environment before anything was directed at them. It worked. I'd go as far as to say it went well. It wasn't spectacular, but even my weak students were saying 4 or 5 out of 10 so far as comprehension goes and while that's not where I want them, it is an improvement from where they normally are.
     First and second block each had one interview. First block is my Spanish 1, so the list of vocabulary they didn't know is like twice the size of my other classes, but that's okay. I used a hybrid of different ideas- Scott Benedict's template for vocabulary that I wanted the students to keep and the physical white board for cognates and words that they asked about that were not as high frequency. I need a better way to make that work because I couldn't decide whether I should write out the general terms (canta- s/he sings) or the specific ones as a full phrase (Bob canta con Joan Jett porque canta muy bien) and my hybridization was weird. Third and fourth block both had two people, so we actually got to do some comparison. This made it more fun to some degree, but I'm reworking my plans a bit because I don't think that I can keep it going in an engaging manner for ninety minutes straight, or even close to ninety minutes. Now, what to add to tomorrow to pad out the time with useful input instead of something pointless?